My daughter was furious as she entered the house. I asked her “ What happen Beta?” In a squeaky voice, she answered, “I lost! Because of him, I hate him.” (You know it is tough to handle an angry adult but it is tougher to handle an agitated kid). Apparently, she had a reading competition in her school which she lost. I then enquired who was she talking about. She told me that she was paired with one of her classmate who didn’t perform well during the competition. She said, “Mom, he never performs well, he doesn’t read properly.. Mumma, he doesn’t even write well…..he is weak.” I told her not to speak this way for anybody but she retaliated and said: “Mom, our teacher also says he is unwell”. I should have won, I am the best!
I somehow ceased the conversation at the lunch table but it left me with a deep thought for the whole day. Did my child just say she is the best? Was she talking about a child who is disabled? 8-years-old and already an egomaniac? It left me heartbroken.
The deeper you delve into the child psychology, the harder it gets to comprehend. I thought of taking a different approach to deal with the ego and then came to a few conclusions, that I would share for all those who are struggling with their kids for the same.
Think while you praise
Maybe, you should reconsider constantly feeding your child with praises. Be extremely careful when you tell your children that they are the best! Of course, as a parent we want our child to feel good about herself, but is that all? Will you leave them with a thought that they are ‘better than others’? It sure can be an uphill battle but you have to take up this task. Stop sugar coating appreciations and brag proof your child before it gets too late.
Instead of saying “you are the best” say “What you did was great”!
Tell them no one is unfortunate
There are millions of children who are differently abled, the chances that your child comes across any of them are significant. To appease the pain of a disabled child, the first step should be sensitizing their peers, that means our children. Social acceptance of disabled children is a huge concern that our society is facing. The solution lies within our society, each one of us is responsible if this issue doesn’t get resolved. Charity begins at home! Ask your child not to pity anybody, everyone is special and unique in their own way.
Be humble
It might just get impossible when you attempt to teach your child basic ethics like compassion, humbleness and care towards people. Kindness takes no efforts, an arrogant child will turn out to be a nonchalant adult. Your child should never look down upon other kids, protect your child from the germ of pride. Well, this cannot be done overnight, ingraining humility can be a long process. If you want your child to be kind to others, you have to be gentle first. Teach your child to always be humble and compassionate!
