“I bought the best hot wheels for him last month, his favourite remote control car this month and I was planning to book movie tickets for the next weekend. Where am I going wrong? I am doing everything to make him happy, still, he is not scoring well?” exclaimed my startled husband, while going through our son’s report card. My eyes popped out and I couldn’t help but stare at  him. He left the room.

Oh dear! Are we on the right track? What my husband thinks is fair or he is in a web of delusion?

PARENTS tell me, are we this selfish? Just because we toil at work and are exhausted to work on our child, you think resorting to such gifts will be useful? NO, you are rather ruining your child’s future! Do not get confused between gifts and rewards. Before you think of getting your child a reward keep these few things in mind.

There has to be a right time for rewards-

When you are planning to buy your child a PS3 just before his assessments, you know that you are intentionally disturbing his learning schedule. Then, you can’t blame your child for playing all the time and not scoring well. Curiosity to explore new things is inherent in them. Make sure of the right time to indulge them in lavish gifts and rewards. Getting their favourite toy in the summer vacations still makes sense! Or may be when they come out with flying colours.

Give what they deserve-

There are parents who blindly buy trending expensive gifts for their child the moment they get a chance. Buying a big barbie set just like that when she hasn’t accomplished anything is unsound! If you somehow bought the gift in advance then you can wait till the time they deserve that gift.

Should be rational and well-thought beforehand-

‘Do this and get that’ approach works for sure but has to be well thought out. First giving and then restricting them to use it is unfair. I understand we all want our children to get the best of things, we are willing to compromise all our wants to fulfill theirs, but expensive gifts might turn your child to a brat!

I love how today we have gadgets that provide the child with the rewards they cherish. CG Slate works on the age-old concept of giving a child incentives for good work. Child unlocks playtime as he/she makes progress in the lessons, this gives an intrinsic motivation to learn. If you want to get rewards for your child, why not get them something that also benefits their studies. Make a smart choice and put your money to buy a useful gift for your child. I would any day prefer an educational tablet over a remote control car.

Should be used as a motivation-

Giving rewards to motivate your child and giving rewards to manipulate your child are two different things. Preparing their favourite dish, giving them extra play time or taking them out for a movie seems good. But buying them a present that you know is a luxury they cannot resist, and asking them to get an A is not acceptable. No bribing with your child! Lavish/expensive gifts make your child greedy for more and more.

Please! Do not rain expensive gifts on your child as a bribe. Big rewards are the easy way out, it means that you are voluntarily waiving off your responsibilities as a parent. Give rewards that do not spoil your child, motivate your child to work better and that do not cost you a fortune!